PART FIVE of an interview with a woman who works with men as a sexual healer and with women as a coach in the erotic arts.
hw: Cultivate your softness. It’s all in the softness, the softness and wetness – wet kisses, soft caresses, the power of soft, indirect caresses to make the man melt. Focus on what is essential in the sexual act, which is receiving the man, and being able to meet him.
To those in a relationship, I’d say: Give him what he needs, not what you need.
A man might come right out with what he wants, but a woman will give what she wants to get. She’ll give and give in the hope that one day the man will wake up to what’s going on. He takes or rejects, as the case may be; takes without really valuing what’s being given; takes without understanding the nature of the gift, the wish to be given the same in return. Meanwhile, nobody’s getting what they want …
Here’s something for men to consider: If a woman is being tender with a man, or bossy, or aggressive, that’s very likely the way she wants him to be with her. To one degree or another, all of us are doing this – giving what we want to get – usually unconsciously. The sadist doesn’t recognize the masochist within. The virile heterosexual stud isn’t aware of his longing to be ravished – to be taken, not just up the backside, but deep down in his soul.